Picture the first scene from Wolf of Wall Street, then pretend it’s happening in the cubbies of a middle school.
CBS News reports:
Officials at a Portsmouth Middle School in Rhode Island warned parents last week that they recently became aware of a trend where students were crushing the classic [Smarties] candies into a “fine powder” while still in the wrapper, then either putting the powder in their mouths and exhaling it through the mouth or nose like cigarette smoke, or using a straw or rolled up piece of paper to snort the powder as if it were cocaine.
The worst part: doctors say the sugar may become trapped in the nasal passages, attracting nasal maggots. Excuse me?
Let’s recall the Great Faux-Drug Panics of the past few years: there was the cinnamon challenge, then the flamin’ hot cheetos debacle. And probably a few that we’re forgetting. At this point, it seems like local news outlets are just making things up.
As always, the Twitter-verse has a lot to say on the subject.
Scroll down to see our favorite Smarties-themed tweets.
why snort smarties when you can snort sweettarts
— Shani O. Hilton (@shani_o) January 24, 2014
My mom got mad at me because I told Kylee everyone smoked smarties in elementary school….WELL I MEAN WE DID — lyss (@AlyssaJ0rdan) January 24, 2014
If your kid is snorting smarties, you should rest easy because he’s probably just not considered cool enough to be offered cocaine — JustinGreen2014 (@JGreenDC) January 20, 2014
I did about a gram of smarties this morning… Feeling pretty good!
— alien twat gobbler (@worstCASONerio) January 24, 2014
Instead of having an assembly on snorting smarties, we should just let natural selection run it’s course
— bunny (@lilyreginakane) January 24, 2014