How to Eat at a Breastaurant Without Being Creepy

Yeah yeah, we know—you're there for "the wings."



Men, here are some things you enjoy: Hamburgers! Beer! Televised sports! Chicken wings! Boobs!

Even making allowances for our vegetarian, straight-edge, and/or gay brothers, the odds are good that at least some of the things on that list would trigger the pleasure-centers of most fellas’ brains (not to mention loins). So what happens when you take all of them, roll ‘em together, and open up a business that is essentially a monument to the base desires of men?

You end up with a breastaurant—that is, a restaurant where breasts are critical component, such as Twin Peaks, Bikinis Sports Bar & Grill, Tilted Kilt, Show-Me’s, Bone Daddy’s, or the OG of the game, Hooters.

There’s something a little weird about going to a restaurant where the entire point is that you’re allowed to leer at your waitress, whose uniform is designed to strategically emphasize her boobs, as she brings you fried things to consume while you watch the game.

But if you’re curious about this shockingly successful business model, or if you’re going to get dragged to one by your lecherous cousin for three hours on Sunday afternoon, there are ways to patronize these establishments without being a total creep. Click through the story to find out how.

Click to start the list
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  • bigrig

    Hooters still has the best wings, Twin Peaks has the coldest draft beer, will never go back to Buffalo Wild Wings.IMO

    • lolseriously

      BWW isn’t a breastaurant… wtf?

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  • Kratos Blades

    What a load of crap! Those boobs are there for our enjoyment! Stare all you like. If she doesn’t like it, she can get a job at Sizzler.

    • Haigaz Eric Tataryan

      Not Sizzler Chotsky’s

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  • Chum Lee Jr

    My first visit to a “Hooters” was craptacular failure. Waitress was almost 50, had fried eggs for bosom, and smelt of scented maxi-pad. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. Horrible…

  • readinggayarticlesorwatdafuk

    what the fuck was this? am I getting lectured on how to be “Mr Nice guy”? I dont even… Really? When I thought you couldnt be lamer you say that “Tip well” bullshit too if it wasnt enough! The biatch you interviewed even said she was paid awesomely for that, wtf. She knows what she got into when she accepted and started working there mofo.
    So now I must enter a supposedely premium experience just so I can be told how to behave like a totally moronic Peter Parker, do absolutely nothing but watch a fucking football that I might as well watch at home, all the while pulling out ridiculous ammounts of Money while not even expecting a “Thank you” in the end.
    I knew there was something wrong when you mentioned “gay Brothers”. WTF. What a waste of time.

  • sgarethe

    Number 6 please for the love of god don’t whip out your penis it’s highly frowned upon and you may possibly get arrested.

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