Adventures in Autocomplete: What We Can Learn By Googling Food TV Stars

Spoiler alert: The guys are d-bags, the women are mean, and everyone loves Israeli couscous.

  • Hi, haters. (Photo: Getty Images/JB Lacroix)
  • Let's go with "awesome douche." (Photo: Getty Images/Stephen Lovekin)
  • Smoking-hot bitch with a mean Israeli couscous recipe, now what?! (Photo: Getty Images/Jason LaVeris)
  • ISMS! (Photo: Getty Images/Stephen Lovekin)
  • We can all thank Fight Club for this extremely odd autocomplete. (Photo: Getty Images/Desiree Navarro)
  • Give us a sign, Yan. (Photo: Getty Images/Michael Buckner)
  • Everyone thinks Nigella is hot, except British people, who think she is hot and a slag. (Photo: Getty Images/Toby Canham)
  • Surprising that anyone has ever wondered where this dude is from. (Photo: Getty Images/Miikka Skaffari)
  • Cautionary tale: This is what happens when you say things like, "Berry vodka is berry good," on national TV. (Photo: Getty Images/Theo Wargo)
  • Molto Mario gets no love on the 'nets. (Photo: Getty Images/Dimitrios Kambouris)
  • This autocomplete probably looked a bit different last year. (Photo: Getty Images/Laura Cavanaugh)
  • If you think he's a douche, what are you hoping to confirm by Googling that? (Photo: Getty Images/Ilya S. Savenok)
  • Housewives in the Midwest are clearly very concerned about RR's manners. (Photo: Getty Images/Laura Cavanaugh)
  • Who did Ramsay pay off to get that last one in there? (Photo: Getty Images/Amanda Edwards)
  • People are so nosy! (Photo: Getty Images/Ethan Miller)
  • The Barefoot Contessa will stomp you out. (Photo: Getty Images/Jason Kempin)
  • Jerky, sexy d-bag in the house. (Photo: Getty Images/Jamie McCarthy)
  • Google clearly does not inspire creativity in the masses. (Photo: Getty Images/D Dipasupil)
  • Ah, Bourdain—always escaping the inanity of the Food Network. Way to take the high road, again. (By: Photo: Getty Images/Jason LaVeris)

Recently, our friends over at The Smoking Section published an article called “40 Etherous Facts About Rappers As Told To Us By Google,” featuring the sometimes-hilarious autocomplete text that pop up when you Google hip-hop artists like Papoose (“the corniest rapper alive”), Lil’ B (“a troll”), and Kanye West (“a gay fish”).

Needless to say, we immediately fell down the rabbit hole of searching celebrity chefs and TV food personalities to see what the ol’ Internet has to say about them. Here are some things we learned:

  • Male celebrity chefs are jerky douches, though some people want to know if they’re married, presumably because they would like to marry them. Further proof that jerky douches always win.
  • Female food personalities are either really hot or ugly, and everyone wants to know if they are mean or rude. Further proof that if you are pretty, you must be the worst.
  • The world is very curious about the whereabouts and age of Martin Yan of Yan Can Cook fame.
  • Doing racist things causes people to Google your racism.
  • Israeli couscous is super popular, and if you don’t have a recipe for it, you might as well pack your knives and go home.
  • Related: Most people on the Internet just want to masturbate or make Israeli couscous

Click through the gallery above to see what Google has to say about the biggest stars in food television.

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