Drop Bombs on the Fruit Aisle: Examining the Influence of Funkmaster Flex’s Instagram Food Porn

A new Tumblr, Food Flexin!!!!, takes us inside the culinary mind of hip-hop's most excitable deejay.

foodflexin

In today’s culinary world, that “new new” reigns supreme. Whether it’s the yet-to-blow chef hosting an underground dinner club in an abandoned copper mine, or the rarest of #veryrare ingredients popping up on a handwritten menu in a far corner of a neighborhood that doesn’t even have a cute name yet, spotting the next hottest thing is what keeps the hype machine alive.

But among the food-world tastemakers who decide important things like what the next kale will be, there is one legend whose extensive culinary credentials have flown under the radar for far too long. Truly, a man who may just change the game forever. (Remember where you were for this moment…).

I’m talking about the one and only DJ Funkmaster Flex, king of New York radio, breaker of hit records, runner of streets, shouter of all things, possessor and dropper of an endless arsenal of bombs, and—most importantly—prolific Instagram documenter of food.

Brought to you by Food Flexin!!!—the Tumblr entirely dedicated to the genius of Funkmaster Flex food photos—here are the nine reasons the deejay-gourmand is set to take over the food game like it was a Saturday night on Hot 97.  

For maximum effect, play this while looking at each example of Flex’s food-porn mastery:

 

Everything Flex touches is the hottest. No matter what.

flex broc Drop Bombs on the Fruit Aisle: Examining the Influence of Funkmaster Flexs Instagram Food Porn

You think that shrimp and potato and broccoli are basic? You think that photo is out of focus and too dark? Flex should drop a bomb on your home. This shit is the shit. And you weren’t there.


He is the undisputed king of soup.

funkflex2 Drop Bombs on the Fruit Aisle: Examining the Influence of Funkmaster Flexs Instagram Food Porn

Flex never met a soup he didn’t love. Food is love. Love is food. It’s that simple.

He’s not afraid to call out culinary bullshit when he sees it.

 Drop Bombs on the Fruit Aisle: Examining the Influence of Funkmaster Flexs Instagram Food Porn

The food world needs to know that Flex will accept no imitators whatsoever. And just in case you were wondering, this shit is completely wack. It will never work!!!


In fact, he’s so serious about wackness, the rule even applies to his own kids.

 Drop Bombs on the Fruit Aisle: Examining the Influence of Funkmaster Flexs Instagram Food Porn

Really, Hunter? Just, really? We don’t even know what you’re looking it, but I promise it is not a good look. Sorry, but really.

He finds beauty in the everyday ingredient.

flex onions Drop Bombs on the Fruit Aisle: Examining the Influence of Funkmaster Flexs Instagram Food Porn

The purity. The potential. The possibility. This is the true essence of food.


He supports local artisans.

 Drop Bombs on the Fruit Aisle: Examining the Influence of Funkmaster Flexs Instagram Food Porn

Supporting local businesses that source and produce locally gets you better taste, better quality, and stronger communities. Fact. And the streets are officially on notice. You heard it from Flex.

He knows where to find the rarest stuff.

 Drop Bombs on the Fruit Aisle: Examining the Influence of Funkmaster Flexs Instagram Food Porn

Daaaamn. Flex doesn’t just settle for what everyone else is on. He searches out the rare shit like a master pirate. And believe me, Flex always knows where to find the gold.


He knows what every true foodie knows: food is far more than just food. It’s emotion. It’s truth. It makes us ask the existential questions.

flex penne Drop Bombs on the Fruit Aisle: Examining the Influence of Funkmaster Flexs Instagram Food Porn

I know only some of you will get this one. Sorry, it’s innate. I can’t teach it. Flex can’t teach it. It’s looking into a pot of penne and tomato sauce and seeing something bigger.

He just does not give a single fuck what you think.

 Drop Bombs on the Fruit Aisle: Examining the Influence of Funkmaster Flexs Instagram Food Porn

You think salad isn’t hip-hop? I promise you Flex doesn’t give a fuck. Oh and by the way, you’re wrong anyways. Salad is extremely hip-hop.

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