“Dimly Lit Meals for One” Chronicles the Struggle Plates of Singledom

Yeah, we see you eating that slice of cheese on toast.

  • "Dog spunk on rocket and a potato waffle. I like your dodgy wrap of sauce, it looks like you’ve bought it from a bloke in Camden."
  • "'Burger' submitted by David Purcell. Well done David, that’s a terrible burger."
  • "One way to pass the time, when you’re on your own and the days are merging into one, is to use a spatula to beat the shit out of a fish."
  • "Hot ham rice with spring onion. If you wish you can substitute smoked bacon for hot ham and green fruit polos for spring onions."
  • "I think it’s quite clear what’s on that plate, it’s called an eating disorder."
  • "Jeremy, odds are that your flat reeks of corned beef and cheap cheddar cheese induced flatulence. You’ll have to frequent a blog even more niche than this one to find someone kinky enough to get off on that."
  • "Mate, you’ve just put a pie on a plate."
  • "Good old Billy sends this one from parts unknown and tells me ‘That was half of it.’  Billy, that pizza looks like John Merrick’s death mask. What a splendid job!"
  • "Kwasbeb throws his hands up in the air and his dinner back up shortly after, giddily bleating ‘I made myself one fish stick for dinner. And I burnt it.’  Of course you did kwas, you’ve probably not got out of bed before 2pm any day this week."
  • "No one was particularly happy with the nachos at the CFS support group, but who has the energy to complain?"
  • "Somewhere George Foreman is weeping bitter tears."
  • "Baby plesiosaur in gravy."
  • "Sticky toffee pudding. Extra viscous."
  • "Ectoplasm borscht. "
  • "The trick with stir fries is to cook the actual living fuck out of the vegetables and tip in a load of undrained soggy rice just before serving. Be sure to use the most uneven cuts of chicken you can find."

Recently, we stumbled across the brilliant Tumblr ‘Dimly Lit Meals for One,’ which features user-submitted snapshots of the embarrassing things you eat in your apartment when no one’s watching.

The site’s tagline is “Heartbreaking images of one man’s home cooking gone wrong.” Incredible. Also, the site’s author comments wittily on each and every struggle plate, with descriptions like, “Dog spunk on rocket and a potato waffle. I like your dodgy wrap of sauce, it looks like you’ve bought it from a bloke in Camden.”

What’s more, the tags are spot-on. The tags on a recent ramen noodle post included #foodpoverty and #crushingmundanity. We just can’t.

Click through the gallery to see our favorite dimly lit meals, then visit the site.

All images courtesy of Dimly Lit Meals for One.

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