In case you missed it, there is currently a gigantic cruise ship—larger than the Titanic!—that has been stranded in the Gulf of Mexico for three days, and apparently conditions are pretty terrible. Instead taking people to their vacation paradise, it sputtered out in the middle of the ocean and is currently being pulled toward a Mobile, Alabama at “the tortuously slow rate of a few miles per hour,” reports ABC News.
Sounds kind of like the debacle that was #RihannaPlane, when a gaggle of music journalists were stuck on a plane traveling around Europe with the R&B star last year—except that this time there are 4,200 onboard, and they can’t tweet all of their trials and tribulations because the cell service is very limited.
How’s the food? People aren’t starving fortunately, but one passenger reports that “we stood in line for four hours to get a hamburger,” and the Navy has dropped off supplies including Pop-Tarts, Spam, and canned crab meat. Meanwhile, “toilets are overflowing” and there is urine and water everywhere. Sounds like a recipe for scurvy.
Our suggestion: Airdrop Rihanna in there to turn it into one of the musical cruise ships like Kid Rock’s Chillin’ the Most Cruise. That way the passengers will be entertained and she’ll have any opportunity to redeem the sins of #RihannaPlane—everybody wins.
In all seriousness though, we hope they get to land safely as soon as possible. Sounds like a true debacle.