What Do You Call a Bacon-Wrapped Alligator with a Whole Chicken in Its Mouth?

This may be the most terrifying food of all time.

Photo: Discovery.com,

Photo: Discovery.com, Twitter/alixmcalpine

Sometimes a food comes along that’s so terrifying, we don’t know whether to eat it or run for the hills. Case in point, this monstrosity:

Seriously, what is going on here? A whole-grilled alligator (do they have gators in Australia!?), wrapped from neck to tail in bacon, with a roasted chicken in its mouth? Turduckens (and turducken-stuffed pigs) are admittedly pretty weird, but this is a whole new level of insanity. The only thing we’ve seen that matches its horror is the Cthuken, which is a cooked bird with crab legs and a cooked octopus hanging out of the cavity:

BbmYNKgCEAA0mSf What Do You Call a Bacon Wrapped Alligator with a Whole Chicken in Its Mouth?

Oh, and maybe the Tudor Cockentrice, featuring the head of a wild boar, the crown of a chicken, the wings and back end of a goose, and the torso of a lamb, all joined together by a taxidermist and stuffed with a seared saddle of lamb encasing minced dry-cured ham, chicken meat, and goose breasts:

blumenthal cockentrice What Do You Call a Bacon Wrapped Alligator with a Whole Chicken in Its Mouth?

We can’t find much information about this beast beast from Down Under, so we’ll just have to name it ourselves. Here are some preliminary ideas:

  • Chicongator
  • Albaken
  • Proof that Australians Are F**king Mental
  • The Bacon-Gator
  • Cthuken of the Swamp
  • Mummified Gator
  • The Reason Why Alligators Taste Like Chicken

[via Twitter]

  • Scott

    I dunno, the Cthuken is far more disturbing

  • uhh

    have you ever heard the word “crocodile”?

  • Jamal Rakilm B

    The one after looks like a creature from the THING

  • Abe Redfield

    We don’t have ‘gators in Australia but we do have crocodiles

    • Justin Bishop

      You are correct, but that is definitely an alligator in the picture. Wonder if it’s really in Australia…

      • ZMan

        Gator is correct, about a 6-7 pound pup. Seafood stuffed and bacon wrapped. Cooked in Texas for filming of “King of the Grill” tv show.

  • Jason

    Chickidile or a crocken

  • Kathryn Anja Davis

    That defiantly looks like a small alligator to me. The head is too rounded and it doesn’t have that forth tooth sticking out of its mouth. No alligators aren’t native to Austarlia but there are farms and zoos that have them. Maybe they got this one from China? This all seems like a waist of potentially good food which shouldn’t be mixed with other animals-alien doesn’t appeal to my appetite.

    • Scrynt Cauldein

      “…defiantly…”? “…forth…”?? “…waist…”??? Are YOU from China????

      • Kathryn Anja Davis

        I’m usual a grammar Nazi. I was very tired and didn’t proof read my post. I’m a bad typist and autocorrect probably also holds some responsibility. No I’m not Chinese (what would that have to do with anything?).

        • Scrynt Cauldein

          YOU made the reference to China in YOUR post! By the way, “fourth” is still misspelled.

          • Kathryn Anja Davis

            Yes I spelt fourth incorrectly. If you pull me up on the use of the word spelt instead of spelled, then you’ve simply used the bastardised version of an ENGLISH word, the same way misspelled is an American bastardisation of misspelt. Going to sleep now, since it’s 2.10am.

      • Kathryn Anja Davis

        I edited it for the both of us.

  • Laura Dubin

    …aaaand I’m suddenly a vegetarian.

  • smeghead25

    RELEASE THE CROCKEN!

    • lol

      i scrolled down to post THAT
      Touche sir or madam.

  • http://fiftyshadesofretail.wordpress.com/ Ian Middleton

    Think I’d call it a serial killer’s fast food wet dream. A serial killer who has blood cholesterol like wallpaper paste and expects not to live past 40 of course.

  • Whatfor

    I’d call this a good reason to go vegetarian. And I’d also say this would be a good reason for the world to go vegetarian. A name? ‘Bad taste’.

  • Jake Anthony

    I would eat that

  • Shivute

    If i am to eat it, where do I start? Head ( which is chicken ) or tail?

  • acforbes

    Reptile dysfunction

  • Kirk

    http://www.discovery.com/tv-shows/king-of-the-grill/grilling-101/smoked-salmon-recipe.htm

    That was cooked in Texas on a Gator Pit BBQ pit. It was part of the pilot episode of King of the Grill on Discovery Channel.

  • hungrybitch

    It’s not even from Australia… it’s from Texas.

  • Justin_Khase

    That’s nasty.

  • Shairlyn

    They’re called Crocodiles down here, not Aligators. That picture is of a Bacrocken!

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