How to Blow Your Tax Refund on Champagne, Seafood Towers, and Extravagant Burgers

If the IRS hit you off with a little somethin' somethin' this year, take that cash and put it in your belly. Here's how to do it the dumb way and the smart way (hint: both are fun).

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Like finding $100 that you lost under the couch, getting a tax refund always feels like a gift from the heavens, even though it is just your own money being returned to you by Uncle Sam. But hey, any excuse to celebrate is cool with us. So if you’re looking to spend your refund extravagantly rather than moving it straight into a diverse, low-risk stock portfolio (snooze), we’ve got some ideas.

There are two ways to do this: Make it rain on gauche items like foie gras-stuffed burgers and rap-video champagne, or explore some pricey food and drink that’s actually worth the money, but usually out of your spending range. To be honest, both options can be equally fun.

Grab your credit card and let’s roll…

Burgers…

The Dumb Way

Head to the 666 Burger truck and get the $666 Douche Burger—a gold-leaf–embellished, foie gras-stuffed Kobe patty topped with Gruyere melted with Champagne steam, lobster, truffles, caviar, and Kopi Luwak coffee bean-infused BBQ sauce.
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The Smart Way

Eat your way through the best burgers in NYC every price point, from $2 to $20.
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Pizza and pasta…

The Dumb Way

Buy a $1,000 Bellisima Pizza, which features two Maine lobster tails and six types of caviar. Take an Instagram and use the hashtag #flourish.

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The Smart Way

Create a slush fund that you can only use on Michael White pastas. Be sure to include the Garganelli alla Fiamma at Costata and the fusilli with bone marrow and octopus at Marea on your tour de carbs.

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Champagne…

The Dumb Way

Blow stacks on cases of Belaire Rosé so you can be more like Rick Ross.

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The Smart Way

Pick up as many bottles of ’96 Salon Blanc de Blancs as you can afford and drink them while listening to Jay Z’s Reasonable Doubt album.
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Seafood…

The Dumb Way

Walking into a restaurant and asking for “the biggest lobsters you’ve got”—as we’ve learned in the past, size isn’t everything when it comes to lobster.

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The Smart Way

Treat yourself to one of the best seafood towers in NYC. A nice plateau de fruits de mer is pure pleasure, but the extravagance is tough to justify unless someone else is paying or you just got thrown a few Benjamins by the federal government.

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Far-Flung Treats…

The Dumb Way

Fly to Dubai just so you can get Pizza Hut’s Middle East-exclusive hamburger-stuffed-crust pizza.

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The Smart Way

Order a shipment of incredible regional foods from all over the country, including Lou Malnati’s deep dish from Chicago and Imo’s Pizza from St. Louis.

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