Anthony Bourdain: Eater Commenter, Punctuality Stickler

It's like Night of the Living Dead: Everyone becomes one, eventually.

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Anyone who’s ever read the sites that make up the Eater network are no doubt familiar with their commenters, who have traditionally been less a conversation of likeminded people on individual blog posts and more a hell-sent demon snakepit of half-wit inmates engaging in mostly unregulated hangry primal scream therapy. Needless to say, they’ve driven people batshit crazy (see: one of many examples here).

There’s also occasionally some decent action to be found in them, like today.

Long story short, Anthony Bourdain was in Vegas taping an episode of Parts Unknown and Las Vegas Review Journal gossip pirate/Bond villain/hack reported—under the headline ‘Tardy TV host Bourdain had Goodman broiling’—that Bourdain showed up 40 minutes late to a segment involving former Las Vegas mayor/mob attorney Oscar Goodman, who, fun fact, once told a classroom full of third-graders that the one thing he’d take with him on a desert island was a bottle of Bombay Sapphire gin.

The gossip item in question read:

Bourdain was running 40 minutes late and a fuming Goodman had no reservations about letting the media know he was beyond a slow boil.

“Where IS this guy?” he grumbled, fidgeting in front of a martini on a lounge table.

So Bourdain—who already confirmed that this was indeed Anthony Bourdain—has now left a comment on Eater refuting the LVRJ’s version of things:

The Las Vegas Review Journal account of my lateness is in every way non-factual. I arrived–as always–at the appointed time. I am guilty of many sins. Keeping people waiting is not one of them. I have offered the paper an e-mail trail between my production team and Mayor Goodman’s people, indicating the agreed upon time for the interview–and as their reporter was on scene, there should be no disagreement that I was, in fact, present, on time and ready to go.

I am notoriously, some say, pathologically punctual.

The paper has not yet, so far as I know, responded to my request for a retraction.

Mayor Goodman was both amiable and entertaining and I am grateful for his time and attention. The reporter, I should point out, had every opportunity to ask about any purported lateness immediately following , when we spoke. Mayor Goodman himself, had he believed me to be late, had every right to say so to me personally. He did not.

I am often asked what quality one looks for in an aspiring chef.

My advice is always to first and foremost show up on time. Always.

Apparently, he’s had a commenting account on Eater since the whole shitting-on-San-Fran-and-its-fucking-figs-too brouhaha with David Chang in 2009. Who knew! Thus: Anthony Bourdain can now add “threetime Eater Commenter” to his distinguished resume of Bestselling Author, Host, Producer, Columnist, and Publishing Imprint Editor. Unless that’s a cover, and he’s actually been Seyo all this time.* In which case, we should add, MAY HE GO BACK TO THE HELLSENT DEMON SNAKEPIT FROM WHENCE HE CAME.

[*Conspiracy theorists, start here.]

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