A Hypothetical Menu for Anthony Scaramucci’s Hedge Funder “Clubhouse”

The blueprint for mook dining has arrived.

Photo: celebritynetworth.com

Photo: celebritynetworth.com

Calling all aspiring Patrick Batemans with “high to extremely high” disposable incomes: Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci wants you. The guy who brought us The Little Book of Hedge Funds is currently seeking out members to supply $4 million in funds for The Hunt and Fish Club, an 8,000 square foot midtown Manhattan space that Scaramucci and his partners aim to transform into an uber-exclusive, uber-expensive club for uber-rich finance mooks. Just don’t confuse it with the similarly named Bergin Hunt and Fish Club out in Queens, a notorious mob hangout.

Scaramucci’s asking for a hefty $50,000 minimum investment, which of course begs the question of just what all that cash will get prospective patrons. The Hunt and Fish Club team has already promised that unlike competitors, the space will be fun, have attractive (presumably female) waitstaff, and make members feel “special and privileged.” But all that’s pretty vague. Here’s a few menu items and member perks we hope to see when the club opens its doors to the lucky few (and shuts them to everyone else):

  • Six layer seafood towers: A minimum of seven menu items that incorporate some form of lobster is a given, but the centerpiece of any expense account meal has to be a visually stunning, stunningly expensive array at seafood on ice. The taller the better, and 50k ought to buy members a fewer more tower layers than they’ll get at everyday mook haunts.
  • Private car rides to the Union Square Greenmarket to pick out your meal’s produce: The customer is always right, and who says financiers can’t do farm-to-table? Top investors can take a communal private jet out to Tokyo’s Tsukiji Market if they’re in the mood for sushi.
  • At least one dish that breaks the Guinness World Record for price: The world already has a $1,000 sundae and a $150 hot dog with Swedish moose cheese, and if the Hunt and Fish Club backers are serious about impressing “guests, business associates, and clients,” they owe them at least one triple- or quadruple-digit showstopper. Adding gold leaf is cheating.
  • Individual wine cellars/curated wine lists for each member: Gotta make sure members are always well-supplied with their favorite Chardonnay. Plus a dozen backup bottles. Plus a few Pandora-style recommendations from an in-house sommelier.
  • A constant, no-line supply of Cronuts: Yeah, Dominique Ansel’s kitchen is too small; yeah, they can’t make as many as the people desperately need; yeah, black-market cronuts are currently going for $40 a pop. But what’s the point of being rich if you have to wait in line with the little people? No other dessert items necessary.

[via SF Gate]

Newsletter

Feed your inbox.

Subscribe