Say what you will about the slightly soggy Big Mac, or the mysterious origins of the Chicken McNugget, or the undeniable oddity that is the fast-food apple pie. But one thing everyone in the world can agree on is that when it comes to French fries, McDonald is the undisputed GOAT. Crispy on the outside and deep-fried to perfection, those heavenly sticks of potato are what’s made the Golden Arches a global powerhouse for decades.
Still, it’s no secret that Mickey D’s has been going through a bit of an identity crisis lately. Last week, news broke that a new McCafé in Paris was yanking burgers and fries from its menu entirely. Foolishly, we thought the chain had hit rock bottom, that they couldn’t possibly sink any lower. But now, in even more distressing news, a McDonald’s in Japan is reportedly testing pumpkin spice-flavored fries.
McDonald’s Japan shared a photo of the item on Twitter this week. Apparently a special promotion for Halloween, the Fries come drizzled in black and orange goo while a jack-o-lantern jack-o-lantern grins mockingly in the background.
As Summer Sixteen comes to a close, we begin to prepare for the inundation of “Winter is Coming” memes and pumpkin spice everything. Oreos, Peeps, Umami Burgers, Chobani yogurt, Four Loko—all foodstuff now comes spiced like a goddamn orange squash. On Wednesday, Anthony Bourdain finally weighed in on the PSL mania, hopefully bringing the trend one step closer to death.
“I would like to see the pumpkin spice craze drowned in its own blood,” he said. “Quickly.”
While our sentiments lean towards Bourdain’s, the Japanese arm of McDonald’s clearly didn’t get the memo. Tampering with the perfection that is McDonald’s fries—topping them with anything but giant globs of heavily-salted ketchup—is not only disrespectful, but borderline sacrilegious.
Pumpkin spice fries will be available at Japanese McDonald’s locations from September 28 until Halloween. Fingers crossed that the dish doesn’t make its way stateside.