Full disclosure: For breakfast this morning, I made myself a smoothie with almond butter, blueberries, and kale. I also live in Silver Lake, a neighborhood with a relatively high number of juice spots per capita.

I’m all for putting good shit in your body, and treating your body (and self) with respect. That being said, I see many of today’s health food crazes for what they are at their core: one big, thinly veiled eating disorder.


Take, for example, the diet of Amanda Chantal Bacon, the founder of L.A.-based tonic, powder, and juice company Moon Juice. She eats $21-per-bag “activated cashews” as a snack, according to Elle Magazine, and her lunches consist of zucchini ribbons (also known as zucchini shavings) and green tea. Activated cashews?! Dafuq.

Well thank god for the dude in the video above, Jarrett Sleeper, who decided to spoof the whole Elle profile on Bacon’s horrifying daily dietary regime. Sleeper totals up what it would cost to buy all the products—from vanilla mushroom protein to stone-ground almond butter—that the obsessive, thin-as-a-rail Moon Juice founder puts in her body in one day (to be fair, he includes the price of an unlimited month of kundalini yoga at Rama in Venice). The total: $1,210.97 USD.


aaaaah

ONE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND TEN DOLLARS for bee pollen, maca, and some other “if-you-don’t-put-this-in-your-green-juice-you’re-worthless” bullshit. To put it in perspective for ya, $1,210 is a tad less than the amount of money some web editors make in two weeks working full time. #cleanliving #thisworldisafuckedupplace

[via YouTube/Murderbot Productions, Elle Magazine]