As the latest Kanye West–inspired social-media pig pile reminded us, we’re in the era of #brand Twitter, where Fortune 500 companies assume the voice of ROFLing teens in order to sell their burgers, quesalupas, or stuffed-crust pizzas. But out of this corporate milieu, one particularly odd character has emerged to capture our attention: @Helper, the anthropomorphized white glove that represents Hamburger Helper as a no-name rapper trying desperately to get his mixtape off the ground.
While other brands piggyback incessantly on hip-hop stars and memes, only one has fully embodied the POV of a Drake stan who still lives with his parents. Perhaps we should have expected nothing less from a foodstuff with deep roots in rap. “Iron Chef Beezy, twenty Hamburger Helpers,” rapped Bay Area icon Lil B on “Cook My Bitch.” Curren$y has expressed his love for the stovetop staple on Twitter, noting, “I’d high five the hamburger helper dude, but that’d be like slappin him n da face right?” And everyone from Jay Z to Eminem has referenced the budget boxed meals in rhymes.
Besides the fact that the legless hypebeast changed his name from Hamburger Helper to Helper in A Diddy-esque moment of reinvention, he embodies all of the pillars of struggle rap to the tee—from the incessant mixtape talk, to the shameless swagger-jacking and DM lurking. Yet somehow, Helper is endearing—just a four-fingered outsider trying to get some shine in a five-fingered world.
Here is a look at how Helper became a mainstay of struggle-rap Twitter, and why you shouldn’t be surprised to see him handing out jewel cases in Times Square.
His mixtape is always “coming soon.”
He constantly stans for Kanye…
…and Lil B…
…and Future…in hopes of getting noticed by his heroes.
The snippets he posts from the studio sound trash.
He spends most of his time playing video games instead of booking shows.
He’s quick to co-opt the latest meme for a retweet.
He finally gets brand money then totally blows it…
…because he’s always trying to scrape by on a budget.
He’s not too proud to request guest verses on Twitter…
…or jack mixtape art from other rappers.
And yet, his commitment to the game has won him at least seven loyal fans.
Do you, Helper. Do you.