Forty-six-year-old German man Oliver Dietmann could end up in prison for five years for allegedly killing his lover with a cucumber during a sex act.

According to The Daily Mail, Dietmann told the court hearing that he and 46-year-old Rica Varna had been drinking excessively when he slipped the vegetable into her mouth. He then explained what took his attention away from Varna:


“But suddenly I saw there was smoke coming from the kitchen. I forgot that I had put a piece of meat on the stove for my dog. I ran to the kitchen, fed my dog and then went on to the balcony to smoke a cigarette.” He said when he returned to the bedroom, Rica was unconscious.

“I tried to get the cucumber pieces out of her mouth,’ he said, ‘but they were so mushy I couldn’t get any.”


Doctors said that the cucumber ended up wedged in Varna’s throat. It blocked her air supply and caused her to slip into a coma.

Dietmann explained to the court that he and Varna frequently used veggies in their sex acts. While he and Varna might’ve been used to the presence of food, the prosecutor in the case said that Dietmann “must have known [better]” than to leave Varna.


In hindsight, Dietmann probably would’ve been better off incorporating a Hot Pocket on his d*ck. At least there’s no choking risk.

[via The Daily Mail]