Like a fine wine, Adam Sandler’s “Chanukah Song” only gets better with age. According to Vulture, the comedian has updated his popular holiday tune for the fourth time to include Harry potter, Seth Rogan, and one former major food celebrity. Yes, you might want to hold on tight to your kippah because “The Chanukah Song Part 4” includes a reference to ex-Subway spokesperson and convicted child pornographer Jared Fogle.
The updated rendition calls out Fogle’s serious mistakes with a joke about a fellow Jew and pop culture celebrity who can hopefully fix him:
“Jared from Subway: God dammit, a Jew
But guess who’s Jewish and can fix him? Loveline’s Dr. Drew (get on it doc!)”
The lyrics also includes actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt enjoying eating kugel (who doesn’t?) and two fictional members of royalty—Star Wars’s Princess Leia and Frozen’s Queen Elsa— cutting a loaf of challah. Best of all it includes a shout out to ice cream makers (and beer collaborators) behind Ben & Jerry’s, a.k.a the Jewish community’s version of “jolly fat guys.”
“It’s cool that Santa Claus who makes Christmas so merry
But we get two jolly fat guys: ice cream’s Ben & Jerry (both Jewish!)”
Sing a long to the jingle while making some killer latkes. Here are full updated lyrics (courtesy of Vulture) below.
Put on your yarmulke, here comes Chanukah
So much fun-ukah to celebrate Chanukah
Chanukkah is the Festival of Lights,
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.
When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree,
Here’s the fourth list of people who are Jewish, just like Jesus, Olaf, Punky Brewster, Scott Rudin, and me!
Joseph Gordon-Levitt enjoys eating kugel
So does Stan Lee, Jake Gylleenhaal, and the two guys who founded Google
Adam Levine wears a Jewish star
So does Drake and Seth Rogen
Goldberg has a gold yarmulke to match the belt he won from Hulk Hogan
We got Scarlett Johansson, talk about a Kosher crush
And if you need a higher voice to turn you on, how about Geddy Lee from Rush?
We may not have a cartoon with a reindeer that can talk
But we also don’t have polio, thanks to Dr. Jonas Salk (smart Jew!)
Put on your yarmulke, it’s time for Chanukah
Harry Potter and his magic wand-ukah, celebrate Chanukah
Jared from Subway: God dammit, a Jew
But guess who’s Jewish and can fix him? Loveline’s Dr. Drew (get on it doc!)
Princess Leia cuts the challah with Queen Elsa from Frozen
David Beckham is the king of soccer studs and also a quarter chosen
Ron Jeremy is fully Jewish and so is his foot-long buddy
Shia LaBeouf is half a Jew but 100 percent nutty
It’s cool that Santa Claus who makes Christmas so merry
But we get two jolly fat guys: ice cream’s Ben & Jerry (both Jewish!)
From New York to Iran-ukah, get up and celebrate Chanukah
Don’t mess with us, oh Chanukah, let’s all get along for Chanukah
So drink your Jaegerbomb-ukah and smoke your medical-chron-ukah
If you really, really wan-ukah, have a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah