It’s 2am and all the bars are closed, but you’re still hankering for a nightcap. What do you do? 

Two sweaty bros decided to take matters into their own hands and break into a D.C. restaurant in search of bottles of alcohol.

David Bass, who is the president and CEO of Raptor Strategies, according to the Washington Post, raided Georgetown restaurant Café Milano with his shvitzing partner. Get this: Café Milano is where Michelle Obama celebrated her 49th birthday.


waddling

The world’s worst criminal duo can be seen scrounging for bottles throughout the restaurant until they find the eatery’s alcohol shelf. The sweatier of the two steals a bottle of Campari and a bottle of Grey Goose.

Police were notified after the cleaning staff overheard the two rummaging about the café and called 911.


goose

Currently, Bass and his friend are under investigation for the robbery. Washington Post notes that this isn’t Bass’ first run-in with the law. Back in 2009, the CEO was charged with drunken behavior on a Houston flights, which were later dismissed after he blamed his behavior on medication.

[via Washington Post]