In 2013, the public panicked when news of a chicken-wing shortage threatened to spoil Superbowl Sunday. Two years later, Chipotle’s low supply of pork sparked cries of #Carnitasgate and general sorrow from lunch-goers.
Why, then, is the community now ignoring possibly the most terrifying threat of all? The loss of the breakfast sandwich—humankind’s most loyal companion other than the Labrador Retriever—may very well be upon us. What kind of future can we expect without bacon and eggs on a roll? Not a future that we want to be a part of, that’s for sure.
Over the past two weeks, a series of seemingly unrelated freak accidents and food-shortage scares have impacted the two most important ingredients to a breakfast sandwich: eggs and bacon.
First, a nasty case of avian flu is spreading like wildfire across the U.S., taking the lives of 47 million chickens and hiking up egg prices to as much as 200 percent. The AP reports that the loss “accounts for 85 percent of the breaker market,” a major blowback to bodegas and fast-food joints who rely on the liquified version instead of “shell eggs” to churn our their $3 specialities.
— Brad Panovich (@wxbrad) June 7, 2015
You know the world is falling apart when there is an egg shortage. — Cole Beasley (@Bease11) June 5, 2015
THE NATIONAL EGG SHORTAGE HAS BEEN ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED! I REPEAT THE NATIONAL EGG SHORTAGE HAS BEEN ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED!
— JDU66IE (@jduggie_) June 11, 2015
The situation is so bad that not only are we importing eggs for the first time in more than a decade, but select supermarkets have also begun to ration them, limiting customers to three cartons per visit.
The other serious affront to breakfast-sandwich safety involves bacon. An Amtrak collision outside of Chicago caused 70,000 pounds of precious bacon cargo to spill all over the place.
Some are already crying foul, blaming local hipsters for the set-up.
— Joe K (@jknight12984) June 6, 2015
While others paid their solemn respects.
Meanwhile, some jokes proved to be eerily foreboding.
That’s because days later, thousands of piglets “flew” out of a big-rig that crashed on a highway in Ohio. Approximately 1,100 were killed on the spot, while another thousand or so fled the scene. The hunt is still on-going.
Diminishing egg supplies, piglets on the run—what’s a breakfast sandwich lover supposed to turn to, Spam? After the Blue Bell ice-cream listeria recall, Texans in particular are losing their sh*t.
Why the sudden turn of events? We can only speculate, but this year marked a strong push by a handful of franchises into the breakfast department, hoping to steal a share of the consumer base. History, of course, tells us that such hubris never goes unpunished…