If you’re a tried-and-true Kanye West fan, you know there’s only one thing in this world he loves more than himself. Hint: It’s not North or Kim, though he seems to like them well enough.
Ye’s only true love—the one that can always make the “I don’t smile” man smile—is ice cream. And through all of his ups and downs in the public eye, it’s that pure, childlike desire for a good scoop that proves Yeezus is just like us.
Today is a special day for Kanye and the common man alike: Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry’s, when you can get a gratis ice cream between noon and 8pm at participating store worldwide. And so, on this glorious occasion, we look to Lord Yeezus, patron saint of frozen treats, for guidance on how to make the most of it. #YeezyTaughtMe
Step 1: Demand that your S.O. to find a participating store near you.
Doing web searches yourself is for plebs. And while s/he searches the web for a convenient scoop shop, you’ll have an opportunity to think deeply about what’s ahead: Cherry Garcia or Chocolate Fudge Brownie? It’s gonna be a tough call, fam. (Photo: Instagram)
Step 2: Dress the part.
Make sure your shirt is machine washable, because drippage is inevitable. (Photo: kanyetothe.com)
Step 3: Ask for free samples even though the cone is free.
— First We Feast (@firstwefeast) February 6, 2015
Just because the price tag says “free 99″ doesn’t mean you should let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do. Who do Ben and Jerry think they are, Hide Slimane!?
Step 4: Stand on the counter and yell, “I am an ice-cream god!”
Step 5: Mean mug anyone looking at your ice cream.
Get your own damn ice cream—it’s literally free!
Step 6: Find a quiet place to enjoy your ice cream in peace.
Welcome to the good life!