Sometimes a sea creature comes along that’s so terrifying, we don’t know whether we want to eat it or run for the hills. And considering aquatic life keeps getting bigger as species evolve, things are just going to get crazier and crazier. So we’ve decided to document the most horrifically awesome animals to come out of earth’s waters. There’s one question that links them all: Can you eat it?

Hide your kids, hide your wife, because these aquatic creatures are ridiculous.


9-Foot Catfish Caught by Italian

fshh

Fished out of: The Po River, Italy

Specs: 8.75 feet long, 280 pounds

An Italian fisherman named Dino Ferrari just earned his G card, as he caught this absolutely monster catfish last month. CNN notes how Ferrari’s beast of a catch is special: “One thing that makes the latest Po River catch unique is that it was done with a spinning reel, said [Sportex representative Davide] Valla, who called it a record for such fishing tackle. It took Ferrari 40 minutes to bring in the fish, then bring it to shore, his sponsor said.” Although, this wasn’t the largest catfish to come out of Italy’s waters. Another fisherman caught a 298-pound wels in the Po River; the world-record for largest catfish ever snagged was a 342-pound lau-lau catfish in Brazil’s Amazon. 

Rocksucker Found by Middleschoolers

sucker

Spotted in: Cape Town, South Africa

Specs: Unknown, all we can say is this fish is hella ugly

Eighth grader Hannah-Rose Roughton was on a school field trip at a beach in Cape Town, South Africa, soaking up some rays and minding her own business, when one of her classmates discovered the slimy red fish with gruesome pointy teeth pictured above.  The kids were freaked out, but also intrigued. What if it turned out to be some sort of scientific discovery? It turns out this fish—while definitely not very photogenic—is pretty common to the area. Its scientific name is Chorisochismus dentex, more commonly called a “red rocksucker.” It feeds on sea urchins and a variety of sea slugs called limpets.


Maniacal Octopus Massacres Crab

Spotted in: Yallingup, Australia

Specs: Unknown

This video, shot in Yallingup, Australia, shows maniacal octopus sprinting across a rock and tackling a crab like Julius Peppers. The most astonishing part is the predator comes seemingly out of nowhere. The video already has 11 million views on YouTube, which comes as a surprise to no one. Maybe after the camera stopped recording, the crab came back, grew five times its original size, and massacred the octopus—and the whole battle resulted in the Cthucken. Anything’s possible, right?


Octopus attempts to escape Seattle Aquarium

Spotted in: Seattle Aquarium

Specs: The sucker is huge

Cephalopods all over the world are rising up, no longer content to sit placidly in their cages or in the ocean. An octopus at the Seattle Aquarium began scaling the walls of its enclosure last week, and the footage is disturbing. The creature was eventually put back in its tank, but there’s no doubt other octopuses have seen the leaked video and are plotting revenge.