“Small portions | tweezered everything” is how @chefjacqueslamerde sums up his minimalist approach to junk food. The parody Instagram account makes use of hysterical modern-cuisine tropes, which result in dishes like “SUPER SOIGNÉ SPEC TONIGHT FT. FILET O FISH VALUE MEAL !!!! FRENCH FRY PUREE, WARM BREADED FISH SLAB, TARTAR SAUCE SPHERES AND COLESLAW ASH!!!!”

The reoccurring use of the word “soigné” in his captions has us peeing ourselves, as does the line “HOLLA AT US IF UR LOOKING TO GET THE MEAT SWEATS 2NITE!!!” Check out some of Chef LaMerde’s best posts below.

The Craisins R The “Bugs”


If UR looking to get the meat sweats 2nite

“Super soigné” Filet-O-Fish value meal


Hostess Cupcake with “a Piece of Fancy Moss”


WHOS READY 4 SRVICE ???!!!

Enhanced with Mike N Ikes


2 Much Fernet *Drops the Tweezers*