New Orleans rapper Curren$y is, among many other things, a bonafide snack-food aficionado. Peep his Twitter account and you’ll quickly learn that the stoner laureate knows a thing or two about food—and he has no problems sharing his thoughts about a Grape Fanta and Benadyrl breakfast, or the wonders of Hamburger Helper.
As someone well-versed in the munchies lifestyle, Spitta kindly agreed to offer his counsel on what makes the ideal snack when the smoke blows over and the glaze is in full effect. After throwing a handful of childhood classics his way, we asked him straight up: Cop it, or nah?
Curren$y says: “Those are perfect, especially if you got couch lock. It’s like a candy and drink all-in-one. There’s all kinds of berry flavors. (Although by the time you peel it off the saran wrap paper, you’ve probably shaken off the fog.) All fruit snacks are good for the same reason: They’re like a fortified Vitamin C force field protecting you.” (Photo: imgkid.com)
Curren$y says: “‘Dunkaroos, Dunkaroos, eat as much frosting as you choose.’ I still remember that jingle. See, the problem is you’re going to need a beverage with those. The frosting is damn near like peanut butter. And the cookies are like animal-cracker consistency. Good, but not for the cotton-mouth situation. I know people who get high and eat Zebra Cakes, but personally I don’t like to be thirsty.” (Photo: fy90s/Tumblr)
Curren$y says: “There’s a Pizza Lunchables in my fridge right now that’s been in there for months because I honestly don’t understand the concept of pizza without heat. It’s like putting tomato paste on a cracker. I dunno man. It’s more for survivalists, not stoners. I’ve advanced the O.G. Lunchable and made it for a more refined person. I have Ritz crackers, cheese, and deli meat that I melt in the microwave. That shit’s good.” (Photo: onemorecupcakeplease/Tumblr)
Curren$y says: “Never had it, but it looks like it’s probably great. People can’t seem to shut the fuck up about it. Is it chocolate sauce? What exactly is it? It probably requires a drink, though.” (Photo: Nutella)
Flamin’ Hot Cheetos
Curren$y says: “Hell no. It’s going to send you to the beverage department, and that defeats the purpose of me being stoned. I liked those in high school, but here it would be interrupting my wavelength.” (Photo: ibtimes.com)
Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Curren$y says: “That stuff is great. You would think you’d need a beverage for it, but you can eat it out of a napkin. That’s how good it is. This is the one sacrifice I’ll make. I don’t like milk anyway. People make edibles out of that shit, too. I’ve had Cinnamon Toast Crunch treats with all kinds of cannabinoids.” (Photo: mycouponexpert.com)
Curren$y says: “In New Orleans we also have another brand besides Top Ramen that you can get at the Vietnamese stores. It comes in a yellow bag. The beef flavor is good enough to raise kids off of. I wouldn’t feel bad raising a family on that shit.” (Photo: happyspeedy.com)
Curren$y says: “Those are good. If you’re stoned and you use a stove, that’s like a meal though. That’s really restaurant-y. A bunch of little pizzas!” (Photo: walmart.com)
Curren$y says: “It was a step up from Hi-C because it held more juice. I don’t fuck with the Kiwi Strawberry flavor, but the Pacific joint is really good. I go through people’s fridges and that Kiwi flavor must be the first box on the shelves at Walmart because everyone seems to have it. What I really want back in my life is the original Hi-C orange and grape joints—you know, the ones with the Ghostbusters on the packaging.”