We are equal parts disappointed and relieved to report that the totally believable Pumpkin Spice flavored condom is not actually a thing. A rumor that had been making the social media rounds over the weekend was laid to rest yesterday.

But all is not lost. There are still plenty of unusual condoms out there to try, and we’re not talking about pedestrian flavors like chocolate and strawberry. Check out these wild and wacky sausage seasonings.


Coffee

Photo: buymecondom.com

Photo: buymecondom.com

Now that our pumpkin spice love latte dreams have been dashed, this is the next best thing.

Scotch

Photo: Amazon

Photo: Amazon

If you’re getting laid, your breath probably reeks of whiskey already.


Cannabis

Photo: Cannadom

Photo: Cannadom

Or of pot.

Garlic

Photo: The Stinking Rose

Photo: The Stinking Rose

Look, garlic in your food tastes great, right? Just keep an open mind.


Bacon

Photo: Bacon Salt

Photo: Bacon Salt

This one is a no-brainer because everything tastes better with bacon. Bonus: It comes with bacon lube.

Durian

Photo: kondomart.com

Photo: kondomart.com

Durians have an off-putting scent but once you start eating them they can be really quite enjoyable. Need we say more?


Tobacco

Photo: aaramshop.com

Photo: aaramshop.com

Paan (a mixture of betel nuts, spices and chewing tobacco) rubbers were created for Indian sex workers who preferred the taste over chocolate, banana, and strawberry. Take that, basic bitches.