TMZ had Auntie Fee over to the studio recently, where she took a turn guest cheffing in The Garbage Truck and cooked the TMZ staffers lunch. As usual, we learned some valuable info and life lessons from Miss Fee.

Every cooking hero has an origin story. Auntie Fee’s began as so many do—because she wanted to get on Facebook. In the video above, she tells TMZ,

[pullquote]”[Tavis] set the computer up for me, and he said what ‘chu wanna do? And I said, I just wanna be able to just talk to my friends on Facebook, you know? And he set it up like that. This button to press, that button to press, all the other buttons…I don’t know. I got an easy life where my boys just, you know, give me what I want. That’s all I want to do: cook, and talk to Facebook.” [/pullquote]

If you haven’t had that moment with your mom or your auntie or your grandma by now, you’re not even real. Meanwhile, Auntie Fee is very real.

In other news, Jimmy Kimmel has fallen in love with the viral cooking sensation from South Central. Kimmel skyped with Auntie Fee while she made shrimp with “secret seasoning with salmonella” and fried garlic bread in an amazing airbrushed apron.

Here are some other choice nuggets of wisdom from the TMZ Auntie Fee video.

On what she’s cooking on the Garbage Truck for Harvey Levin

“For Harvey [Levin]? I want him to go get some big-ass colossal shrimps. Tell him to bring it. Tell him to bring it, I’m not playin’. Bring it. I need some shrimp, and I’m gonna cook those for him, because he doesn’t eat meat and stuff like that there. And then when I cook it, and if he like these—which I know he is—I want a goddamn apology.”

On why she wants an apology from Levin

“Puttin’ that picture on there, that ugly picture with my hair standin on top of my head, holding a pork roast. You know, this roast was so big, I had to hold it with two hands. Don’t laugh! Don’t laugh! I can see the camera lady over there laughing. I had a pork roast holding like this here, hair standing all over my head and shit, and y’all about to put that picture on there!”

On where she gets her cooking inspiration

“All this is old to me. All of it is old to me. I have done everything I show people on the Facebook, I’ve did it. I did it. I got a whole truckload of shit to show them, it’s not a big thing. Ideas you never even thought about, you know? But everybody, I think about the people that gotta work, and the kids, oh my god…you think about it, you got some children—and I’m not knockin’ nobody—you got some children, your mother’s an alcoholic, or your father, or drug addicts, or they spend a lot of money on they hair and stuff like that there. OK, we can’t stop them from spending a lot of money on they hair or the new shoes or whatever, we can’t stop that. Five or ten dollars left out the damn county check, or your paycheck, or whatever. then we gonna stretch that to feed you for about two weeks.”

On her haters

“Can I address my haters? Now see you guys, stop it. I’m not hurtin nobody. I’m not cookin no food for nobody. I do this for myself. Just take from this what you need. That’s all I’m sayin. Take what you need. You don’t gotta talk about me. Cause a lot of people, it work for. Take what you need. If I don’t wash my chicken the way you do, then wash yours the way you think it need to be washed. You don’t see no dogs and cats and shit in my kitchen, walkin all over the counter and stuff, all over the food. But then, some people think that’s OK. Do you?! I’m sayin, that’s all I gotta say on that one there.”

[via TMZ on YouTube]