Recently, our friends over at The Smoking Section published an article called “40 Etherous Facts About Rappers As Told To Us By Google,” featuring the sometimes-hilarious autocomplete text that pop up when you Google hip-hop artists like Papoose (“the corniest rapper alive”), Lil’ B (“a troll”), and Kanye West (“a gay fish”).

Needless to say, we immediately fell down the rabbit hole of searching celebrity chefs and TV food personalities to see what the ol’ Internet has to say about them. Here are some things we learned:

  • Male celebrity chefs are jerky douches, though some people want to know if they’re married, presumably because they would like to marry them. Further proof that jerky douches always win.
  • Female food personalities are either really hot or ugly, and everyone wants to know if they are mean or rude. Further proof that if you are pretty, you must be the worst.
  • The world is very curious about the whereabouts and age of Martin Yan of Yan Can Cook fame.
  • Doing racist things causes people to Google your racism.
  • Israeli couscous is super popular, and if you don’t have a recipe for it, you might as well pack your knives and go home.
  • Related: Most people on the Internet just want to masturbate or make Israeli couscous

Click through the gallery above to see what Google has to say about the biggest stars in food television.