A man’s kitchen is a sacred place: a place to relax, create, and feast on nachos, poutine, and burgers. And any man who deeply enjoys the culinary arts knows that the tools and gadgets in his kitchen are integral to the outcome of the food he’s preparing. We want to help men across the globe enhance their cooking—along with their collection of kitchen gadgets—so we’ve prepared a list of the most manly, ridiculous, and “effective” kitchen tools on the market. Between the sword-handled frying pan, the Pizza Boss 3000 (a circular power saw for cutting pizza) and a V12 Expresso pressing engine, there’s enough ridiculously fantastic kitchen appliances in this slideshow to make up for everything else that’s unsatisfactory in your life.

Click through the gallery above to view the most absurd kitchen appliances out there that cater to real men.