In this wonderful video, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog trolls hard on the attendees of the Great American Beer Festival, which happened last weekend in Denver. Here, the gloriously foul-mouthed dog’s 10 best beer nerd disses:
- The Great American Beer Festival, also known as the ‘Distant Father’s Expo.’
- Every year, hundreds of people come to beer festivals like this one to see what it’s like to not drink alone.
- I’m here with the guy from the Pringles can.
- Brewing beer is like making love to Madonna at this age—it takes a lot of time and patience, you got to keep stirring and stirring, and at the end there’s way more yeast than you thought there’d be.
- [Brewer: ‘It’s certified gluten free with delicious buckwheat honey.”] Gluten-free beer. I don’t want to try it, I just want to sniff the area where your balls used to be.
- When it comes right down to it, any one of these beers will make you more racist.
- You’re a bunch of losers. These beer names are never going to work. Here, I’ve got some names: ‘all the good hobbies were taken’ lager, ‘this is why I’m morbidly stout’ stout, ‘gay after three beers’ porter.
- These are the only girls here. I’ve seen a better male-to-female ratio at the Vatican.
- A microbrew connoisseur walks into a bar, and he says to the bartender ‘give me your finest pumpkin ale, but make sure it’s not too hoppy.’ So the bartender takes out a baseball bat and beats him senseless while everyone cheers.
- You know, China is beating the shit out of us and we’re learning about craft beer.