Welcome to #TheDrunkestShitEver, a weekly series where we ask bartenders the most ridiculous thing they’ve seen happen inside a bar. Unsurprisingly, these barkeeps have witnessed some pretty drunk shit, and they’d like to share their finest tales of debauchery, epicness, and idiocy with you.
Name: Aaron Polsky
Bartending resume: Aaron Polsky mixes bitters-laced cocktails at Amor y Amargo in the East Village. He is the co-founder of Cripple Creek, a traveling cocktail collective, which he runs alongside Damon Boelte of Prime Meats. Polsky has held previous bartending gigs at White Star, Neta, and The Boom Boom Room.
WHAT IS THE DRUNKEST S**T YOU’VE EVER SEEN?
I was working at the Boom Boom Room at the time, which is now called The Top of the Standard. It was late at night, and totally dead. But there was this one dude sitting at a table, who I could only describe as looking like Joe Biden, but maybe 75 pounds heavier. He was in a suit and very merrily drunk, like no big deal, whatever. And he ordered a couple of bottles of Dom to his table, which had banquette style seating. I don’t remember exactly what transpired next, but there was definitely a prostitute and he definitely planned to perform cunnilingus on her at his table. He then tried to high five me, I promptly shut him down, and his business partner left a $1,200 tip. Then they all quickly left.