America’s Most Ridiculous In-Home Bars and Their (Fictional) Owners

Because we've all wondered what kind of person needs a bar in their living room.

  • Brad saw Django Unchained in theaters and now describes himself as a “huge fan” of Westerns. His ex-wife was really into horses, so Brad killed two birds with one stone and made her old saddles into seats for the super-authentic in-home bar at his Park City ski lodge. It also shores up the eco-friendly image Brad’s struggled to make for himself as a Silicon Valley big shot—never mind the three homes and private jet. (Photo: Zillow)
  • Caroline is central Florida’s resident real estate tycoon; she built her mansion before the subprime mortgage crisis, back when things like faux-Italian in-home bars seemed like a good idea. Now she mostly stocks the bar with white wine for the weekly Bachelorette viewing parties she has with her best friends/tennis partners. (Photo: Zillow)
  • Steve hit it big on Wall Street by the tender age of 25, so he decided to fulfill his childhood fantasy and build himself a hunting lodge in the middle of Idaho, where he’s spent a total of three weeks since construction finished three years ago. He’s never actually shot a gun before, but all those deer heads mean his guests don’t need to know that. Steve loves using the bar to pour super-manly glasses of straight whiskey for all his finance dudebro friends, and doesn’t get why his girlfriend finds the faux-Navajo print on that chair offensive. (Photo: Zillow)
  • Jerry is a classic superfan, and thanks to his thriving pizza chain (30 locations across the great state of Idaho), he’s now a superfan with tons of cash. So he created a Broncos shrine/sports bar in his house, just so he and his buddies could knock back a few cold ones and watch the game without having to rub shoulders with the great unwashed at the local sports bar. Best of both worlds! (Photo: Zillow)
  • Tony is in the waste management business and lives with his wife, Carmela, in a questionably tasteful home in New Jersey. Over the last decade or so, Carmela has dealt with her empty nest by channeling her energies into redecorating, starting with a bar Tony asked for after he and the boys stopped hanging out at Vesuvio. The red leather was Tony’s idea, but Ro said the fake family crest and wood paneling would make it "classy." Right?! (Photo: Zillow)

Nothing begs the question “Who are these people?!” quite like a slideshow of outrageous real estate. And the collection of in-home bars rounded up by Zillow for Bloomberg is beyond outrageous—it’s a jaw-dropping collection of (mostly) terrible home-decor choices. So we couldn’t help but fantasize about the kind of person who actually thinks saddles in lieu of bar stools is a good idea. Click through the gallery above for our (completely fictional) profiles of the men and women who own their own personal watering holes.

[via Bloomberg]

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