We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: If you give someone the gift of food and drink over the holidays, there’s a good chance some of it will end up back in your mouth. That’s a cash-back situation if there ever was one, and just one of the reasons why blocks of single-origin chocolate and sticks of artisan salami will never go out of style at this time of year.

But just because it’s not edible or potable doesn’t mean some of these items shouldn’t be high on your own list this year. From a clever champagne bong designed by a couple of visionary stoners, to a collaborative Sriracha jersey, we’ve rounded up everything (from affordable stocking-stuffers to over-the-top splurges) you need to take your gourmandizing lifestyle to the next level—assuming, of course, that you’ve already ordered a lifetime supply of Guy Fieri t-shirts (see below) from the FWF pop-up shop.

Guy Fieri Is My Dad Tee ($28)

Complex_batch1-5_1024x1024Actually, you should buy all of the First We Feast merch for everyone on your list, because these fire ‘grams and nacho music videos don’t pay for themselves. But if you really want to help someone flex from now until infinity, this t-shirt is all you need.—Chris Schonberger Buy it here.


Nachos Supreme Patch ($5.99)

nachosSUPREME
Not everyone has the courage to brave hour-long lines at the crack of dawn for Supreme apparel. On the flip side, trying to nab the same stuff online—where after-market prices are notoriously high—can prove fruitless too. Leave that fanaticism to the hypebeasts and one-up them with this Nachos ‘Supreme’ patch from provocateur Spoking Fun. The iconic red-and-white boxed logo is not only perfect for Tex-Mex’s most glorious food, but it will get you major cred without having dropped half of your last paycheck.—Justin Bolois Buy it here.


Portable Pizza-Pouch Lanyard ($8)

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Ever been in a situation where you want two slices of pizza but only have the ability to hold one? The folks over at Stupidiotic have got you covered. The Portable Pizza Pouch is a triangular ziplock bag on a string that stores an extra slice of pizza to wear around your neck.—Erin Mosbaugh Buy it here.


Sorachi Ace Beer Soap ($8)

beersoap
Brooklyn Brewery’s Sorachi Ace is a farmhouse ale loved among beer geeks for its citrusy aroma, reminiscent of lemon rind and lemongrass. Which kind of sounds ideal for a soap, right? That’s why Brooklyn Brewery teamed up with local soap makers makers Apotheke for this special edition, 5 oz. bar made with Sorachi beer and malt grain. If you consider yourself a suds obsessive, you’re in luck.—Justin Bolois Buy it here.


Gold Pineapple Cocktail Tumbler ($29)

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A tiki cocktail is not a tiki cocktail unless it’s served in a festive vessel. Cue this two-piece brass pineapple tumbler from W&P Design, the team that brought you the ingenious Carry On Cocktail Kit. Fill this gorgeous tumbler up with Mai Tais and Zombies and have yourself a very merry holiday season.—Erin Mosbaugh Buy it here. 

Stumptown Grand Cru Cold Bru ($28)

stumptown_grandcruThe holidays are all about breaking out special beverages—that fancy bottle of Scotch, old bottle of Burgundy, or special Christmas ale. But why shouldn’t the sober folks and coffee fiends have something to get excited about as well? Now they can wake up to a special Stumptown cold brew, made with a very rare Ethopian coffee variety called Geisha and served in 750mL bottles.—Chris Schonberger Available at Stumptown stores in Los Angeles, Portland, and New York

Chambong ($30)

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Leave it to a couple of enterprising stoners to figure out how to chug champagne. Cue the chambong, a hybrid champagne-flute-bong that allows you to guzzle 4 oz. shots of the finest of bubbly. Made of dishwasher safe, borosilicate glass, this clever drinking device represents the future of good times to be had.—Justin Bolois Buy it here.


McConnell’s Fine Ice Cream Holiday 4-Pack ($40)

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Who says you shouldn’t gorge yourself on ice cream in the middle of winter? But don’t just settle for any brand—go for the good stuff like McConnell’s, a family-owned Californian operation that’s been going strong for 60+ years. The 4-pack comes with a pint of each of these holiday flavors: Pumpkin Pie, Egg Nog, Peppermint Stick, and Cardamom & Gingersnaps.—Erin Mosbaugh Buy it here.  


Grandma Beach Towel ($40)

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There are few places in NYC that nail the grandma pie recipe. GG’s in the East Village is one of them, and they’ve immortalized all of its glory on this limited-edition beach towel. Sunny vibes and thoughts of ‘za—what’s not to like?—Justin Bolois Buy it here.


Bait x Sriracha Baseball Jersey ($59.99)

sriracha
The fashion-lifestyle company BAIT is no stranger when it comes to collaborations—peep the BAIT x Mitchell And Ness, BAIT x Streetfighter. But our favorite joint project has to be with the California-based hot sauce powerhouse, Sriracha. Branded with the Rooster logo, this baseball jersey is straight fire.—Justin Bolois Buy it here. 


Carbonara Sweatshirt ($69)

carbonara
Do you love pasta as much as Aziz? Well there’s absolutely no reason not to proudly display your passion for pasta across your chest. And if anyone tells you they don’t fux with carbonara, just respond that disliking eggs, cheese, and bacon is hella lame.—Erin Mosbaugh Buy it here.


Momofuku “Grand Slam” Gift Pack ($125)

luckypeach
For those friends and family who live far away from David Chang and Christina Tosi’s Momofuku outposts, there’s always this extravagant gift pack to cure their blues. The “Grand Slam” includes two bottles of Ssäm Sauce, the Lucky Peach cookbook, Milk Bar Compost Cookie mix, a Momofuku peach tote bag, Momofuku beanie, Fuku koozies, some awesome illustrated stickers, and more.—Erin Mosbaugh Buy it here. 


Whiskey Advent Calendar ($190)

advent
Whiskey is so much better than sub-par chocolate, especially when it comes to advent calendars. This Drinks By The Dram edition offers 24 30ml wax-sealed sample bottles of top-notch whiskeys from around the globe, including a rare 50-year-old Scotch and an award-winning Japanese whisky; but if you want to get really swaggy, go for the Old & Rare Whiskey Advent Calendar ($1,270), which contains whiskies worth up to $3,000 a bottle, including a 60-year old Single Malt.—Erin Mosbaugh Buy it here.


Zingerman’s All Year Bacon Club ($400)

bacon
Is there such thing as too much bacon? Famed Michigan deli Zingerman’s knows the answer, which is why they’re offering a year-round bacon club. Each month, a different variety of premium, artisanal porcine goodness—think Hickory Smoked Duroc or Balinese Long Pepper—is shipped to your doorstep. Endorsed by heavy-hitters Mario Batali and Michael Symon, the bacon subscription is a good excuse to pamper your frying pans.—Justin Bolois Buy it here.

Best of NYC Hot Sauce Pack ($30)

heatonist_hotsauce_packWilliamsburg’s boutique Heatonist is like KITH for hot-sauce lovers, selling only the most high-quality sauces—many of which are exclusive to the shop. The chile fiends behind the shop have a particularly keen eye for local options, which is why you can count on the choices in this three-pack: Mike’s Hot Honey, perhaps the best pizza condiment ever; Queen Majesty’s tequila-laced jalapeño sauce; and Belcastro’s NYC Hot Sauce, made with habaneros from Brooklyn Grange.—Chris Schonberger Buy it here.

Sempli Monti Beer Glasses ($55 each)Sempli_-_Monti_Taste_Collection_Filled


Treat your imperial stouts and farmhouse ale like the works of art they are with these beer glasses from designer Daniele “Danne” Semeraro. The crazy angles of the IPA version are particularly eye-catching, but we suggest grabbing the whole set of four for $100.—Chris Schonberger Buy it here.