The craft beer industry descended on Denver this past weekend for the 28th Annual Great American Beer Festival, the largest and most prestigious brew fest of the year. As usual, there were a lot of winners in every style category you can imagine, from best American-Style IPA (Breakside Brewery), to Session Beer (Benchmark Brewing Co.’s Oatmeal Stout), to Belgian-style Witbier (Saint Archer Brewing Co.’s White Ale).

But for those of us scoring at home, the beer names can be just as fun to track as the winners. With more than 3,000 beers available, the festival floor is a microcosm of the increasingly crowed craft market—a great ale will get people talking, but so will memorable branding and beer names (even, perhaps, if they are only memorable because they are so cringeworthy).

Presented without commentary, here are the best/worst/most hilariously inane beer names from the 2014 GABF. 

  • German Sparkle Party, 10 Barrel Brewing Co.
  • Fear is Your Only God, Adroit Brewing Co.
  • The Nightbeer Before Christmas, Alameda Brewing Co.
  • Stupid Sexy Flanders, American Brewing Co.
  • The Kimmie, The Yink, and The Holy Gose, Anderson Valley Brewing Co.
  • Brunch Money, Armadillo Ale Works
  • Rabid Beaver Rye IPA, Belching Beaver Brewery
  • Insubordinate Dockhand, Black Star Co-op Pub and Brewery
  • Oats McGoats, Brewery Rickoli Ltd. AND Three Notch’d Brewing Company
  • MAN BEER, Bull & Bush Brewery
  • Card Your Mom Saison, CAUTION: Brewing Company
  • Coffee and Cigarettes, Cellarmaker Brewing Company
  • Horny Goat Barrel-Aged Porter, Elevator Brewing Company
  • British Ugly, Four Fathers Brewing
  • SAFEWORD, Free Will Brewing Company
  • Enlightened Despot, Lickinghole Creek Craft Brewery
  • Helluva Caucasian, Living The Dream Brewing
  • Triple Homicide, Lost Highway Brewing Company
  • Keep It Copacetic, Middle Brow Beer Company
  • YOLO!, Nevin’s Brewing Company
  • Naughty Sauce, Noble Ale Works
  • Uhmerkuh, Oakshire Brewing
  • Sit Down or I’ll Sit You Down, Peticolas Brewing Company
  • The Big LeBarrelski, Pinthouse Pizza Craft Brewpub
  • Fear of a Brett Planet, Round Guys Brewing Company
  • Just The Tip Spruce Tip Ale, Sick N Twisted Brewing Company
  • Heavyweight Ticklefight Champion of the World, Solemn Oath Brewery
  • I Like The Way She Moos Milk Stout, Storm Peak Brewing Company
  • Wake Me Up Before You Gose, Strangeways Brewing
  • You’re Awesome, The Brew Kettle
  • 36 Chambers, The Brewer’s Cabinet
  • Toss My Funky Salad Kombucha Brett Ale, Tomoka Brewery
  • Jean-Claude Van Blond, Wit’s End Brewing Company

[via Great American Beer Festival]

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