15 Flasks Only a D-Bag Would Carry

Because sometimes it's fun to be ridiculous.

  • The poster boy flask for supreme douchebaggery. Available at: CafePress)
  • Great for the loudest d-bag in the room. Available at: Etsy)
  • Some d-bags have way too much money to spend and will do whatever it takes to get drunk in public in high style. Available at: Chanel)
  • No doubt this flask-tie company sells units to d-bag low-level businessmen. Available at: HuffPo)
  • Louis Vuitton makes  a gorgeous flask for the d-bag that's eager to drop $800. Available at: Ebay)
  • The perfect flask for any lady d-bag's night of hardcore clubbing. Available at: amazon.com)
  • For all those sacrilegious d-bags getting wasted in church. Available at: FutureMemories)
  • For the peeping tom getting buzzed while creeping, or for the innocent bird watcher trying to be a badass? Either way, d-bag. Available at: HomeWetBar)
  • What a great belt accessory for those angsty, wannabe-badass d-bag lushes out there. Available at: ExecutieGiftShoppe)
  • The classiest flask bling on the market...or the runway. Great anniversary gift for your girl, d-bag. Available at: TheBeautyStop)
  • Every great d-bag needs a 128-ounce Sasquatch flask. Available at: HomeWetBar)
  • The classiest of d-bag belt buckle flasks. Available at: Etsy)
  • This leopard print flask is perfect for your d-bag lady friend who likes to swig vodka while getting her nails done. Available at: EFlasks)
  • For all those nostalgic, throwback '90s d-bags out there. Available at: Etsy)
  • Perfect for the d-bag handyman who wants to get buzzed on the job. Available at: HomeWetBar)

Previously, we took a look at the best accessories for conspicuous public consumption of alcohol, but there’s really no accessory that’s superior to the classic flask. And when we say classic flask, we mean exactly that: a flask that is humble, effective, and pocket-sized. We don’t value the kitschy, bad joke-alluding flasks that blatantly compromise the object’s legacy and integrity. But those flasks do appeal to a certain market—namely, the d-bag market.

And because that d-bag market is so diverse and active in the online shopping world (fact: d-bags love e-retail), we thought it would be helpful to find some flasks suited to bros, mooks, wanksters, and the like. So here we present the 15 greatest (or more realistically, worst) flasks for a d-bag on the Internet—including a flask that fits securely in your Bible, an $800 Louis Vuitton flask, a flask that holds 128 fluid ounces of booze, and a tie flask for the bro’d out businessman.

Click through the gallery above and see absolutely absurd flasks that are just begging to be used to wet your whistle while engaging in unforgivable douchebaggery.


Latest News